Sunday, 19 May 2013

Confessions of a pleasant writer turned bitchy whiner (and why I try hard to fight it).

Spoilers and bitchiness ahead! Tread with caution!

Yes, it's true. I can get very bitchy, especially where my writing is concerned. I see people commenting on my story with things like "Good story, but Nightingale should have ended up with David, not Robin" and, rather than thinking:

"Oh, they have a difference of opinion from me. How very interesting. I am so glad they took the time to read my story and comment. Oh, yes. I am so pleased that it at least got that comment. I will take their feedback into mind when I write other things."

I usually end up thinking something like this:

"Hey, you think that Nightingale should end up with David, do you? Well you can suck my dick, because I'm the fucking writer and my word is law when it comes to my stories. Oh, and you've just commented on the last chapter to say how disappointed you are? Lovely! And you've just suggested how you would do it? Exquisite! All your comments are negative ones, without any positive things? How ingenious! Hey bitch, here's an idea: how about you write a goddamn 135,000 word story and end it however the fuck you want? OH WAIT. YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T EVEN SPELL YOUR COMMENT CORRECTLY. So shut your fucking mouth about saying you know best because if I want to have Nightingale end up with Caroline you better shut up and trust my judgement. I'm the fucking writer, and I have nearly 2 million reads on my story and though that still makes me a nobody in the grand scheme of things, you are even more inconsequential!  So you can fuck right off and go read something else, you illiterate twat."

Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. I've very rarely wanted to call someone an illiterate twat, but still, the feeling's there. Now, I've got no problem with constructive criticism. I'm not an author, and I don't pretend that my writing is anything superb, so I welcome people pointing out flaws in my writing with the intention of helping me. That's awesome. Helping people is great, and those who do it, rock the fuck on, man.

What I don't like is mindless asshattery. Let me put it this way: if you can't do it better, shut your mouth. Because if you come onto my story and say how I should be writing it, and your story is entitled "The Player and the Nerd" with two reads and one chapter, I'm going to get pissed because guess what? Not only is my story objectively better than yours, it's - newsflash! - MY STORY. I'm not telling you how to write yours, you know. And if I don't have something nice/constructive to say, I don't say it. There's no point in saying "this story is a piece of shit" and then just sort of breezing off. That's like walking up to a random stranger on the street, kicking them in the nuts, and then walking away like nothing ever happened. Don't. Do. It. Because. It's. Not. Nice. Or. Polite.

Writing is like anything in that regard - I do it my way, and if you don't like the way I do it, you can do it your way. But you'd better keep quite about it if you don't want to do it your way, 'cause I don't have time for assholes.

Moving on: the worst part about all this is that I used to be a pleasant writer. I used to be nice. Kind. Caring. I have now descended into a ball of bitchiness and whining, and that ain't nice. So, having now explained my feelings, I'm going to apologize for them.

I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A BITCH. I am trying to mend my ways and I anticipate that, in a few days, I will be back to what I hope is my pleasant self. Sorry.

1 comment:

  1. I think it is rude to write an author and tell them how they should have written their story. Love yours by the way. I have to settle down and read the rest of them.